I Worked Myself Sick
I never imagined that a meticulously planned vacation could end with me too sick to go on the trip. I was so excited for this eight-day adventure that I had carefully curated every detail. I watched YouTube videos about the region, read travel guides, bought new clothes, and packed for two different climates. I even got my travel vaccines a month before departure, just to be extra thorough. The plan was simple: work a full day, catch the flight that evening, sleep on the plane, and wake up ready to explore the moment I landed.
But in the days leading up to the trip, I started to feel a little off. I’m no stranger to fatigue in this line of work—there’s always more to do than there is time in the day—but this was different. It felt like I was dragging myself through everything. At work, I came in early, stayed late, and worked through lunch. I took a few extra hours over the weekend to make sure my charts were closed, my EHR’s inbox and emails were addressed, and my physical mailbox was handled. I wanted everything in order, so I could completely disconnect during my vacation.
The week of my trip, I was exhausted. After work, I couldn’t muster the energy to spend time with my family. I was falling asleep the moment I got ready to unwind. Mornings became harder to get through, but I pushed on, convincing myself that I just needed to power through.
On the morning of my trip, I noticed I felt cold—cold in a way I couldn’t explain. But I’ve always felt chilly when everyone else is comfortable, so I shrugged it off. It wasn’t until I stepped into the shower that morning that I felt a sharp pain in my body, but I dismissed it as nothing serious. But by late morning, I could no longer ignore the fact that I was sick. The pain worsened, chills crept in, and I could feel weakness settling in. I managed to finish my workday, barely ate dinner, took an antipyretic to bring my fever down, and stubbornly headed to the airport with my luggage, hoping for the best.
It was in the security line at the airport that it hit me: I was too sick to travel. My friend and my travel companion, looked at me and immediately noticed something was wrong. She took my carry-on luggage when she saw how disoriented I was. I tried to follow the conversation, but my brain wasn’t keeping up. At that moment, I had to admit something I’d been avoiding: I needed to stay home. The trip that I had paid for in full, the adventure I’d dreamed of for months, no longer mattered. I wasn’t going to risk getting sicker in a foreign country, where I didn’t speak the language, and I certainly didn’t want to be a burden on my friend. I called my husband to take me home and informed the airline that I would not be boarding the plane.
It took me 11 days to feel like myself again. I wasn’t angry about the money I’d lost or the fact that I spent my vacation sick at home. What struck me instead was a profound realization: I had ignored my body’s warnings for too long. I had overworked myself to the point of illness, and that’s a dangerous path for anyone, but especially for healthcare providers who already give so much of themselves to others.
When my vacation time ended, I re-evaluated my workdays. I took a hard look at the habits I had and those I wasn’t consistently applying. I started prioritizing self-care in ways I had previously brushed off. I began refining my workflows to eliminate redundant tasks and streamline my day. I became strict about not working outside of my scheduled hours, about leaving on time, and about making sure I ate, drank, and took breaks throughout the day. These small changes made a world of difference, not just for my well-being, but for my productivity.
This illness and the self-reflection it sparked are the reasons SignTheChart exists. I want to help other healthcare providers avoid the burnout I experienced. We deserve to manage our workdays with intention and efficiency, to protect our health, and to enjoy our lives both in and outside of work. No one should have to work themselves sick.
Take care of yourself—because the work will always be there, but your health is irreplaceable.
